I'm sitting here. Sitting in my chair. Passing the time. Doing nothing really. Just keeping my hands active while my mind grinds, churns and whirs away. Like always. I'm always thinking. Maybe that is why I'm so absent minded. Who knows. :( I'm feeling very much trepidation right now. I went to jay's last night to celebrate his sister's 18th. I drank 40 ounces of rum, 20 ounces of various other alcohol and tons of beer. I was completely wasted. Had a great time. But naturally, eventually the party ends. I spend weeks looking forward to this one event. and then it's done. Afterwards I just feel like crap. I feel all wierd. It's a feeling I have yet to apply any kind of description too. Empty might work. I don't know. The last time I felt like that was 2 years ago when I was fearing for mine and jay's friendship. Ugh. lol. oh well.
Last week I was reminded at youth that I am giving my testimony next month. My biggest fear. I don't really feel that my testimony is any good. I don't have a good story in my opinion. Nothing that other's can learn from. Isn't that the point of a testimony? Sigh. I guess I'll see how it goes. Sometimes I wonder why I volunteer for these things.
