Fake Nice

So many 'good' things I do, I do because I think I have to. It's not who I am. I am nice but in a completely different way, when I get outta the way. Im so obsessed with being nice, when Im not, I twist reality in my head. "Oh, im not being overbearing or whingey, others just think so because theyre mad at me.". Or "they hate me anyways so they arent even reading my shitty messages so its okay". Bah made more sense in my head before I started writing. But basically im not nice.